Greetings And Salutations, and welcome to my review of Monster Dog; here's the breakdown of my ratings:

Story: 1.25 Direction: 0.75 Pace: 0.50 Acting: 0.75 Enjoyment: 0.75

TOTAL: 4 out of 10.00

Being a lover of Rock, how excited was I to see Alice Cooper in the lead role of Monster Dog(?) More exuberant than I had cause to be. If you're a fan of Alice's, then don't, just don't watch this movie - you won't like it.

The best thing about this production is the story. Should an aspiring moviemaker read this review, here's a project for you because the narrative should make an enjoyable horror flick. A famous rock star, Vince Raven, learns he's inherited the family mansion and decides to visit. After all, it would make the perfect backdrop for a music video. On their journey, the group get pulled over by local police and warned of a vicious band of dogs in the area. We also begin to learn the secrets of Raven's family. Is there a link between the feral dog pack and Raven? Why do the locals hate him and his family? Moreover, what mysteries await the band and film crew at the desolate mansion? With that synopsis, there are plenty of opportunities to build tension, fear, distrust, and many more emotions. Claudio Fragasso and Rosella Drudi deliver an appealing tale containing a few agreeable elements. I particularly like the dog hunters who turn up at the mansion after hearing Raven has returned. Things get awfully messy when they get out of control. One of the drawbacks of the narrative is the poorly constructed personalities. Everyone is flimsy and insubstantial. It would've been more rewarding for the viewers to have a couple of the principal characters be meatier, especially Raven. The story would have been infinitely better.

Sadly, Fragasso isn't as skilled behind the camera as he is at writing. For one thing, I'm amazed the rock video he shoots at the start of this picture didn't kill Alice's career. To state that it's hideously horrendous would be an understatement. He tries; I'll give Fragasso that. But he failed so badly that I could feel the flesh on my arms creeping as my soul cringed. I think I shook my head in dismay more times in this movie than in any other. And whoever chose that song - well, shame on you. There are a few decent scenes throughout the film, but too few to lift it out of the doldrums. Even though he attempts to create an eerie atmosphere with lighting techniques, you feel more dissatisfied than full of dread. And most scenes overrun, which destroys the flow to the point of tedium. The poor special effects do the movie no favours either. The Monster Dog is abominable. I'd have prefered a man in Wookie costume. And who did the wardrobe? A rock star who loves cheap cardies and jumpers - yeah, right!

But even worse are the performers. Alice Cooper as Raven could've been better. He's not great, but he's better than most of the supposedly skilled actors and actresses. But it must have hurt when the buggers dubbed him with a bloke who sounds like him. I know this is an Italian movie, but surely he could have voiced his own lines, as you can see he's speaking English in the film. I bet he wished they'd dubbed the music video, for which they left in his vocals. The rest of the cast has difficulty in bringing their characters to life. No one is relatable, and you won't care what befalls them. The only person who shines through is the caretaker, and he disappears near the start.

I wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone. If you're an Alice Cooper fan, I'd suggest you watch the music videos, listen to his albums, and go to the concerts - but stay away from this barkingly bad movie.

So, the school's out for summer! Well, that gives you more than ample time to check out my IMDb lists - Absolute Horror and Monstrous to see where I ranked Monster Dog - and to find a better bone to chew on.

Take Care & Stay Well.